King of Thieves Review

King of Thieves Review

Apr 21, 2015

It’s incredibly frustrating to see a game, think that it’s gonna be a great one, judging from the screenshots, and then find out that it’s utter crap. Oh, wait, that’s exactly why I have a job. Never mind, then.

King of Thieves is an arcade game that, halfway through development, decided that it doesn’t really want to be one, and changed itself into a free-to-play manager piece of garbage instead. The player plays as some Super Meatboy-like creature that, as we find out from the start, was once the King of Thieves, but was ousted by his (her?) arch-nemesis. Now the player has to steal his way through the endless missions, in order to get to the throne and steal it back. Also, some weird crap about stone idols and gems?

King of Thieves is basically divided into two parts. The first part is a standard casual arcade, where the player needsKing of Thieves 3 to jump around, evade the traps, and get to the treasure chest at the end. Come to think of it, it’s also a lot like Super Meatboy, except a lot slower and not entirely as exciting. The controls are boiled down to a simple button, making it even simpler than most infinite runners. The second part is a crappy excuse for a free-to-play manager, crossed with a simple level editor. Basically, the players have a supply of gems that can be multiplied, if left idling in a stone idol for some time. Don’t ask, I don’t have the slightest idea how that works. Anyway, other players can try to steal them, but to do that, they have to get past the traps the owner had set up. It’s not a bad idea in itself, but when put into a restrictive, time-consuming, weird, free-to-play environment, it all kinda falls apart – especially since it’s really unclear as to why exactly you should do any of this, if all you want is a simple arcade.

Overall, King of Thieves contains too many elements for such a simple core concept. If it was stripped of all free-to-play crap, then it could become a cool, simple dollar-worth arcade. However it’s not, so I’d much rather go play some of that, instead.

King of Thieves Review Rundown

6.5
Graphics/Sound - Simple and cartoony
7.0
Controls - Simple taps.
5.5
Gameplay - Incredibly simple.
7.5
Replay Value - There's a lot of levels and a social element, at least.
6.0
Overall - It's a neat idea, completely warped by the FTP restrictions.

Download: App available at the Google Play Store »

Tony Kuzmin
Basically, a talking digital extension at this point.
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