Jul 8, 2011
Some apps deserve their special place in our torrent of the terrible because they’re badly put together, others gain access by warrant of their uselessness. It takes a special kind of freakishness to manage to get on for both, but this week’s entrant has done just that.
Good Fortune Cookie is a fortune cookie simulator. So, if you’re one of the few who just can’t get enough of poorly written generalisations and numerical nonsense, then this is the app for you. Unless, like me, you think that the whole point of a fortune cookie lies in its communal reading after some good Chinese food.
Sitting on your own, shaking your phone, reading the random fortunes that pop up clunkily on-screen is hardly my idea of a good night in. The fact that the app is poorly built and clearly hasn’t been tested on enough phones to realise that not all Android models have the same screen resolution, is testament to just how unnecessary it is.
If they were comedy or bizarre fortunes, then I could see the point, but they’re not. They’re just straight up, â€œGood things will happen to youâ€ platitudes. Good things may well be coming my way, but an app that’s pretending to be a weird, paper entrusted biscuit isn’t what you’d call a reliable source for that information.
Downloading Good Fortune Cookie is a waste of time and bandwidth. You’d be better off just thinking up something vaguely prescient and positive about the coming days on your own, picking a random number to be your lucky one, then realising that the whole things is a load of old nonsense and deciding to do something worthwhile with your time instead. As the old saying goes, â€œthere’s no point in seer-like wisdom if it’s not encased in some sort of odd pudding-y substanceâ€.