May 27, 2011
For this week’s Freaky Friday app, not only have we ventured into the far flung reaches of the Android Market, we’ve also strode out into the realms of utter nonsense. You see, some apps make it onto our rundown of the ridiculous because they’re weird, some make it because they’re scary; Your Rhythms makes it because it spews out unrelenting gibberish.
Your Rhythms is an app that calculates your biorhythms. For example, today my intellectual rhythm is at -8%, but my aesthetic rhythm is at +92%. Yay? Your Rhythms never troubles itself with explaining what biorhythms are, or what the calculations mean – it just gives you numbers and an interchangeable graph.
Want to know how spiritual you’re going to be today? Then just type in your date of birth and Your Rhythms will let you know. Except it won’t, of course, because it’s just peddling a bunch of made up statistics and claiming that they will have some sort of reference to your real life.
According to the app, my awareness is very high today, which is good, but in the next few days, it’s going to reach one hundred percent. In my head, that means I’ll become some sort of super hero, with awareness so acute that I can predict disaster before it strikes. Unfortunately though, at the same time my emotions are going to hit rock bottom, so I’ll be a sad super aware hero.
The suggestion that anything at all can be calculated from a person’s date of birth, except their age, is frankly ludicrous. Add to that an app that is on the hideous side of ugly, does nothing to explain or ingratiate itself and is, to all intents and purposes, nothing more than some wiggly lines, and you’ll understand why Your Rhythms has earned its place amongst the parade of the perplexing.
That said, my intuition is pretty low at the moment, so maybe I just don’t know what I’m talking about.