Nov 7, 2011
Go on ahead and reread that title as it may have come across as Good Morning. Done? Good. Now if you go to the website for this app there is a long drawn out explanation of how this app developed from “serious clinical research” and how it will also make a great theft deterrent. I am here to tell you this is all hogwash. No seriously, there is clearly no clinical research involved here and if this makes a would be thief embarrassed to pick up the phone, well then the owner will also have to deal with the same embarrassment and thus negating the anti-theft properties.
So what does this app do that deems it worthy of $1.50? It moans. Not only does it moan, but there are oodles of tape recorded 1970s porn stars expressing their sexual climaxes to choose from, because you know one variation is just not enough. There are several ways to get activate this app, including using the accelerometer to detect movement which then makes the phone get all hornball like and start yelling in ecstasy. Heck, even the description claims this will help in letting the “smile spread on your face.” If that is all it takes to get someone off, well they may want to look at other cures for their..frustrations.
Really developers, is this really worth the time and effort? There are plenty of websites that have moaning, and they include high quality video. Are people so frustrated with their lives that they need to have their phones provide a fake orgasm for them? Just think, the tailgating clown doing 80 MPH down the freeway just might be listening to his phone with this app. I shudder at the thought.
The final blow, seriously,no pun intended there, is that this app costs money. Sure it maybe a mere $1.49, but those even interested in this app have better outlets for their money. It is time to stand up and demand better apps!