May 23, 2011
Wouldn’t it be great if, now that you’re a grown up, you could get versions of games you played as a child that reflected your new adult status. You know, like a Sonic game where he swears and takes drugs, or a new take on Space Invaders where the invaders are bills and taxes and the ship is your bank account. Oh no, wait, that would be rubbish. Which leads us on to Naughty Neighbours, from Moxy Games. It’s a cross between Columns and one of those pens with a lady on the inside, whose clothes fall off when you turn it upside down; except this is less sophisticated. Men and women slide down the screen in a variety of different poses, and you have to link them together in sexual congress in order to make them disappear. Yes, you did read that right.
The game is ugly to look at, and the sound isn’t much better. It has the feel of a game bashed together in a couple of hours in a basement, for a joke, that’s somehow made it onto the Android Market. I mean, it uses Comic Sans, which anyone with an ounce of design knowledge will tell you is a serious no-no. You tap on screen buttons to move and twist the men and women into the right place and hope that you can get some of them to bump uglies before the screen is full.
To make things worse, the game doesn’t recognise some perfectly legitimate sexual positions, which can often lead to huge piles of half naked men and women stacking up on the screen. As a puzzle game, Naughty Neighbours has its moments, and if it wasn’t such an unadulterated eye sore, then it might earn itself a higher score, but unfortunately, it is.
It’s obvious that Moxy Games have some talent, although maybe not in the art department. Despite its subject matter, Naughty Neighbours is playable, and at times quite enjoyable, but it’s too much of a mess to recommend. If you do download it, and intend to play it in a public place, I’d make sure that the media volume is turned right down, otherwise your phone is going to be making fake sex noises at passers by, and no one wants that.