Burrito Bison – Luancha Libre Review

Burrito Bison – Luancha Libre Review

Jan 17, 2017

Some games are about skill, some will challenge your mental capabilities and others have a story to tell. There are also some games that are just exercises in repetition that require little thought and minimal technique. These games can be awesome and Burrito Bison – Launcha Libre is evidence of that.

The set-up is as follows – you’re a lucha libre trapped in a candy kingdom. The only way to escape is to launch yourself from the ropes and fly through the air to freedom. How this plays out is really simple. Drag your wrestler back and launch them, much like Angry Birds, and once you’re airborne you have nothing to do but tap the screen to perform a special ability.

With a choice of three wrestlers, you special ability will differ depending on who you’re playing as. One will slam into the ground at great force, one will launch a grappling hook to pull themselves onto an enemy and another can glide upward before falling back down.

So where’s the game? Well, this being an evil candy kingdom there’s gummy bears everywhere and you need to try and land on them to earn cash. There are different types of gummy bears, some that will slow you down and others that will launch you into the air, speed you up or give you a ball of honey that devours all the bears in your wake.

It’s really basic but it’s compelling because there’s a good variety of sugary enemies to bump into, each with their own unique affect on your character, and there’s loads of upgrades to unlock. You’ll need these upgrades if you want to get your wrestler to the end of each area. Getting to the end of each area is a feat but it’s blasting through the walls will let you move onto the next area of the candy kingdom. So all you need to do is make sure you keep your speed up, keep on upgrading and before you know it each run you make will consist of you breaching multiple cookie walls and destroying tons of gummy bears. Simple.

As you may be aware of, Burrito Bison – Launcha Libre is incredibly simple but it’s incredibly slick and well presented that it’s a real joy to play. Each of the enemies are well designed and fun to crash into, the 3 different wrestlers play only slightly differently but these slight differences make big differences to how you play and the audio gives every collision a real sense of power.

In the end, Burrito Bison – Launcha Libre is a very simple game but it’s made so well, has a lot of variety based around its simple premise and is incredibly generous with its advertising and IAPs. I can’t recommend Burrito Bison – Launcha Libre enough. It’s simple but it’s polished and it’s free but it doesn’t demand you watch a ton of adverts. Great stuff.


Cartoon Network Superstar Soccer: Goal!!! Review

Cartoon Network Superstar Soccer: Goal!!! Review

Dec 31, 2016

For as advanced as sports games have become, with realistic physics and visuals that make you think you’re watching a live game, it’s nice now and then to kick back with some arcade action. In fact, the most complicated thing about Cartoon Network Superstar Soccer: Goal!!! is trying to remember its name.

If you’ve played arcade style soccer games before, you’ll have a good idea of what to expect. Dribbling with the ball is as simple as running without it, tackling for the ball doesn’t require timing like in the real world and long range efforts hit the back of the net with frightening frequency. The World of Gumball’s Darwin is a better striker of the ball than Cristiano Ronaldo, it seems.unnamed-6

The action on the pitch is fast-paced and easy to grasp. You have three outfield players on each team with one of your players being a ‘superstar’. A superstar is capable of a special move once their meter is filled up and these special moves are simple to activate, requiring nothing more than the press of a button. Controls in general are simple, with a button for shooting, passing and dribbling being all you need. Holding down these buttons result in ‘bigger’ versions of each action, such as a shot with more power or a pass that travels further. The only difference between each player is the fact that the superstars have their own unique moves, with everything else largely being equal.

These superstars are taken from all manner of Cartoon Network shows, from Uncle Grandpa, Adventure Time to Regular Show. Odds are that you’ll find someone from one of your favorite shows but odds are that you’ll need to spend time unlocking them first. You can unlock characters by simply playing your way through matches and earning coins as you do. Coins are used to unlock characters as well as unlock equipable items, like hats and glasses, that let you customize your characters.

This is a bit of a problem, because whilst playing the game itself is fun, if a little basic, there’s really not much built around playing each match. There’s no real season mode or story mode to speak of. You can play a series of 4 matches, which the game will call a cup and that’s about it. You can also play online, which seems to work pretty well over 4G and using my home’s terrible wifi connection.

Other than that, there’s not really all that much else to say. The presentation is pretty great, with characters managing to look great in the game’s pared down 3D style, along with plenty of audio taken straight from the shows. The controls of the game are pretty tight and work well, considering they’re on-screen buttons, and the arcade action is bound to please most. There’s just nothing that’s particularly outstanding or memorable about this well made yet fairly simplistic arcade soccer game.

Reigns Review

Reigns Review

Sep 27, 2016

So many apps are built to make our daily lives simpler. One app that has achieved true notoriety made the whole dating process as simple as swiping left or swiping right. You know the one I’m talking about, you know it’s called Tinder, don’t play dumb with me.

What’s not a simple process is reigning over a kingdom. Being a king is tough work and full of gray areas but Reigns doesn’t care. It’s a mixture of Game of Thrones and a dating app where your main aim is to stay alive for as long as possible.

This is harder than it sounds because your ‘helpers’ aren’t that helpful. They’ll tell you that the castle’s on fire and you have two choices, swipe left to save the garrison or swipe right to save the treasury. Either way, you’re screwed because if you upset the army enough, they’ll overthrow you and kill you. If your coffers run dry, the rich merchants of your kingdom will overthrow you and you’ll die, penniless, in the gutter.unnamed-19

Reigns is a totally brutal game of decisions and balancing everyone’s needs. The church, the army, the people and your finances all need to be balanced out. It’s a fairly literal in letting you know how ‘well’ you’re doing in each area, as on the screen an icon representing each element fills up. You’d think that filling up your ‘money’ meter wouldn’t end up in death, but it does. So you’re not allowed to let any bar fill all the way up or go all the way down.

It’s really as simple as that. You’re given clues as to how your decision will be perceived, as before you let go of each swipe you will see a small circle or a large circle appear over the icons that will be affected by your decision. The trick being, you’re told if the decision will be positive or negative and you instead have to read the text and infer whether it will fill up or drain the icon.

Luckily, all of this reading and very simple gameplay is hugely enjoyable and incredibly stylish. Each character you interact with clearly has their own agenda and its fun to see how their stories play out (assuming you live long enough). What keeps things interesting is the way the game dishes out and adds new characters and potential cards the more you play. You’ll be given vague clues as to targets to accomplish, such as ‘discover the traitor’, but upon finding out who’s the traitor in your court, you’ll unlock new cards that will reveal themselves in later playthroughs.

There is also an actual end to the game, though the real fun is in simply trying to see how long you can keep your king alive and how long you can get away with making bad decisions.

Reigns is incredibly simple but incredibly well polished and full of humour and style. I hereby decree that Reigns should be downloaded forthwith! Swipe right.


Soccer Shootout Review

Soccer Shootout Review

Aug 31, 2016

A an English person, the idea of taking penalties strikes fear into my heart. It’s just something we’re genetically unable to do. However, after some hours with Swipe Soccer, I fancy my chances from the penalty spot a little bit more.

Soccer Shootout’s a straightforward idea. It’s a penalty shootout game where you swipe at the screen to take a penalty or to get your goalkeeper to dive. You can apply swerve, direction and power to your shots by swiping in a particular way. Swipe quickly for more power, swipe at an angle to aim for the corners and draw a line that’s not straight for curve.

It’s the same thing for goalkeeper control too. Swipe left, right, high or low – it’s dead simple and actually quite fun.

The game has some added depth thanks to the fact you can unlock and buy new players. These are important as different players will have different stats. How good a player is will actually affect how hard you have to swipe and how precise you can be with your kicks. On top of this, players and ‘keepers can have special abilities. These abilities allow you to swerve the ball more wildly, reduce your opponent’s field of vision and even perform a really odd lob kick that belongs on an American Football field.SS1

The game has both singleplayer and multiplayer options. In the single player mode you take on teams from around the world, touring the globe one country at a time. As this isn’t an officially licensed product you’ll be facing off against some weird looking crests that will remind you of a real team’s logo, but most certainly are not a real team’s logo. This also goes for the names of the players, though some of the names have been so heavily altered it’s hard to recognise who they’re trying to be.

Online is fun, though you can sometimes come up against people who have much better players than you. Being in a shootout with players that are way better than your own means your keeper won’t have even moved by the time the ball’s flown into the net. I understand you want to reward players that have spent more time and money on the game than others, but it’s a little bit too much.

As you play through either mode you’ll earn money. This can be used to ‘train’ your players, which is just another way of boosting their stats. You can also save your money up and got ahead and buy an entirely new player. Those of you that are willing to part with your real money for access to the game’s fake money will have access to the more expensive and therefore better players.

In the end, Soccer Shootout is a pretty fun game that has a really simple premise but it’s so well made, it’s hard not to have fun. There’s new players being introduced regularly, so if you’re happy constantly taking penalties, there’s plenty to keep you going.

Deus Ex GO Review

Deus Ex GO Review

Aug 29, 2016

Phones and tablets, more often than not, can’t do what PCs and consoles do. It’s just a fact. Different control schemes and a lack of powerful hardware means it’s just not possible to plonk a beloved series onto a phone.

This is why Deus Ex GO is so impressive and continues the success that the GO series has had to date. Previous GO titles include Hitman and Lara Croft, where the games captured the spirit of their franchises whilst converting them into simple, turn-based puzzle games. Which is just what’s happened in Deus Ex GO too.

You play as Adam Jensen, protagonist of the recent Deus Ex console and PC games. The story is pretty throwaway, with you infiltrating a corporation’s building, espionage and so on. There’s links to the new Deus Ex: Mankind Divided, but the links aren’t that meaningful unless you’re a hardcore Deus Ex fan.

The game itself, as mentioned, plays almost like a board game, with you moving your one piece (Adam Jensen) whilst the computer controls everything else. The goal is quite simple, with you starting at one side of the ‘board’ and all you need to do is make it to the exit, which is a designated space on the board, often opposite to the side you start on.unnamed-2

This isn’t a simple game of snake and ladders however, as you need to watch out for all manner of enemies, traps and defences. All of these obstacles behave in fairly simple ways and are introduced at a good pace, keeping things interesting. The first set of enemies you’ll run into (hopefully not literally) are soldiers that, when they spot you, grow an exo-skeleton making them indestructible and they charge at you. The solution is to simply approach them from behind or from the side and, like a game of chess, you’ll remove them from the board. Of course, they can also remove you from the board and force you to start over. Other enemies include turrets that kill on site, robots that kill if you approach from the front and so on.

What’s so great about this game is the way all of the enemies interact with each other. One example is the turret and the indestructible exo-skeleton man. On one level, the solution involved me triggering the guard, moving to the side and then having the guard block the turret’s line of sight. This game keeps things fresh and interesting as there’s a near constant stream of new enemies and traps appearing and the fun is in finding out how they’ll affect each other.

On top of this there’s powerups to find, that can turn you invisible, for example and terminals to hack, meaning turrets are your friend and will shoot down any antagonistic guards or robots. The game is constantly asking you to rethink about what you already know and it’s so rewarding when you finally figure out a particularly difficult level.

On top of this, the game looks really great. It’s not a graphical powerhouse but it has absolute style. Adopting a polygonal look, characters burst apart into a stream of triangles when they’re defeated and each level has a unique layout, with different furniture littered about each board.

Deus Ex GO manages to keep its Deus Ex roots whilst distilling them down into a simple to play puzzle game. With tons of enemies resulting in tons of variety for each level, I can’t recommend this enough.


Soundtrack Attack: Steven Universe Review

Soundtrack Attack: Steven Universe Review

Aug 29, 2016

I’ll admit to something right off the bat – I’ve never watched an episode of Steven Universe. I’ve seen plenty of gifs and whatnot, my Twitter feed is full of people who love it, but I’ve just never given it a shot. Bear this in mind when reading this review and when I tell you that Soundtrack Attack is a rhythm game that has a soundtrack which means nothing to me.

You’ve all played a rhythm game before, right? The notes appear on the screen in time with the music and you’ve got to press the right button at the right time. It provides the illusion that you’re actually ‘playing’ the music when in reality you’re just strumming a plastic guitar or, in this case, simply tapping, dragging and holding your fingers down on the screen of your phone. All in all, it’s a pretty average rhythm game, though there were instances where I felt that the game was a little too forgiving. When faced with a screen full of notes I’d eventually lose track of what was going on yet somehow get through even the trickiest of sections with my combo intact, thanks to the fact I’d tapped randomly on my screen. I guess this makes it more suitable to what I imagine is its younger intended audience.su1

Another more personal issue I have with the game is that I just didn’t enjoy or recognize any of the music. Imagine playing Rock Band or Guitar Hero and having never heard any of the songs before. Imagine that you’d not only never heard them but that you thought they were bad. So this might be a harsh criticism and one based on the fact I’m not a fan of the series, but it’s a criticism all the same. There also seems to be a fair amount of reuse, as the same song will appear on several levels with only slight alterations to it.

On more positive notes, fans of the series should find enough to enjoy with Soundtrack Attack: Steven Universe. You get to create your own character (called a Gem?) and you can customize her as you progress. More customization options become available as you complete songs, with better performances earning you more coins to spend on these character altering elements.

There aren’t any power-ups to buy or use during levels. Once you’ve played through a level and heard its song, that’s all there is to it. There’s plenty of levels, mind, though not much to keep you coming back unless you’re after high scores or a perfect run.

In the end Soundtrack Attack: Steven Universe is a well made game even if it is a little basic and a touch too forgiving. This probably suits the younger audience out there, though I know a lot of Steven Universe fans who are well into their 20s. They might want to skip this.


Dots and Co Review

Dots and Co Review

Aug 26, 2016

I often think long and hard about the words I write. It might not seem like it sometimes, but it’s true. I fret over each adjective, hoping that I find the one that really evokes the meaning I’m going for. With Dots and Co I’ve struggled to find the perfect word. I wanted to say ‘nice’, but nice seemed a little bland, a little basic and a touch too simple.

However, Dots and Co is a simple, somewhat bland and basic puzzle game. It’s really nice.

It’s a really stylish looking game full of clean designs and pastel colours. Cute characters and animals place themselves at the top of the screen, acting as your avatar. There’s a good amount of polish to proceedings, with your avatar following your touch across the screen and with blips, blops and pops following every action. There’s also some really… nice ambient music that accompanies everything, filled with chilled out acoustic guitar.dots2

The game is made up of coloured dots placed on a grid. You need to draw a line between as many dots of the same colour as you can. Drawing a line causes the dots to disappear and more dots fall from the top of the screen to take their place. The challenge is that you need to clear a certain number of certain coloured dots to complete each level.

Adding some difficulty and variety to proceedings is special abilities you’ll pick up as the game progresses, ice blocks that stop you starting a line on certain squares of the grid and the fact that the grid itself will change shape and size from level to level.

The problem is that each level doesn’t really ask too much of you. There’s very little strategy to any of the proceedings means it’s hard to really call it a puzzle game. You just do the thing it’s asking you to do and all without much thought. I guess this makes it ideal for a casual audience but it’s probably safe to say that Dots and Co is a little too casual, especially for the first 50 or so levels.

This being said, it’s hard to be too negative. It’s just too nice, too relaxed and too gentle for you to get sick of it. I found myself not so much bored, more in a state of zen.

Which might be exactly what you’re after. A game to kill some time whilst you’re sat on the bus, something to keep you busy whilst waiting for a microwave to ding, something that requires very little thought and it really quite pleasant to look at.

Dots and Co is a nice game.


Mobius Final Fantasy Review

Mobius Final Fantasy Review

Aug 23, 2016

I have to admit it. When I first saw the screenshots for Mobius Final Fantasy, I didn’t believe it’d look that good, let alone look that good on my crusty old phone. I was wrong. This will undoubtedly be the first thing you’ll likely notice about Mobius Final Fantasy. It looks brilliant and it’s beautifully animated too.

The game itself is both confusing and extremely straightforward at the same time. The bit that’s easy to get your head around is the fact that this is simply a set of battles, one after the other. There’s a map shown to you but there’s zero exploration as all you need to do is simply click on the next location you need to move to. It’s entirely linear and it’s only the animation that takes up the top of the screen that lets you know that your character is actually on the move.

What’s also easy to understand is the controls. To fight your opponents all you need to do is tap on the screen to do a normal attack and press a button to cast some magic. Dead easy.ff3

This is now where things get out of hand and the tutorial lets you down in a big way.

You see, Mobius Final Fantasy is actually all about collecting, fusing and levelling up cards in a deck. The cards you’ve got will dictate what type of fighter you are, a melee, ranged or magic user, they’ll dictate what spells you can cast and they’ll also decide what your summon attack is.

The thing is, there are so many stats to each card and so many ways you can build a deck it makes your head spin.

Each deck has to have a ‘job’ card, this can be levelled up to unlock more jobs, has status boosts and abilities that can also be unlocked on it. Each deck has to have a weapon, this will also boost stats and attacks and statuses. Each spell also has abilities, both passive and active that can be levelled up. You can fuse two cards together to make the levelling up process quicker. There’s also an ‘affinity’ system during battle that means you take less damage from those types of attacks. Using and ‘affinity’ spell will mean you’re less likely to receive seeds of that type. Seeds are used to cast spells but only spells of that type of seed. Before you go into battle you can ‘rent’ a card. This is a card that is owned by another player and by fighting with it you gain experience for that card. This is good for the other user because they can be offline and have people level up their cards for them.

That giant paragraph I just wrote? It seems like total nonsense to me and I wrote it. Lord only knows how you feel.

So this is the major problem with Mobius Final Fantasy. It’s a bunch of systems built on systems with other systems that support it. Fuse this, rent that, meld them, collect these, pick up shards of the other… it’s too much for what is essentially a game that requires little skill.

Maybe you’ll enjoy building decks but the only thing that changes after you’ve spent hours in confusing menus with confusing systems is the fact you get to see larger numbers appear over a monster’s head. It’s so much work to play and to understand and not much fun to play. A visual spectacle that dazzles before the gameplay itself confuses. You can always press the ‘Auto’ button, whereupon the game literally plays itself. At least it seems to understand its own rules.


Shadowverse Review

Shadowverse Review

Aug 15, 2016

A bugbear of mine is game reviews that rely heavily on simply comparing the game they’re talking about to another, more popular game. Sadly, there’s no way I can talk about Shadowverse without mentioning how much like Hearthstone it is.

Seriously. It’s really like Hearthstone. Really.

You have 3 cards to start with and you’re in a 1 on 1 fight. The fight progresses in rounds and in each round you’re given points to spend. The first round you can spend 1 point, the 2nd round you can spend 2… you get the idea.

These points are spent on playing cards. Cards that have been played are placed face-up in front of you. More powerful cards cost more points, so you’ll only be able to play them in the later rounds.unnamed-11

Cards have 2 values that are important when they’re in-play. A defense and an offense value, these two numbers represent how much damage the cards do and how much damage the card can take before they ‘die’ and are taken off the table. The aim for you is to attack your opponent, which is made harder by the fact that your opponents cards are trying to attack you too. Do you hit your target this turn, or should you remove some of their cards from the table, lest they hit you back?

Honestly, it’d be so much easier if you just went and played Hearthstone.

One thing that Shadowverse does that’s totally unique is an ‘evolution’ feature. In each battle you have 3 evolution points to spend. These allow you to evolve your cards which can result in better stats or entirely new abilities becoming active.

Much like Blizzard’s competitive card game, Shadowverse has a wide range of cards, all featuring exquisite art. There’s hundreds of the things for you to collect and building your own deck is a chance for you to create something that’s unique to the way you play. A lot of cards have abilities that suite one style of play over the other, though sometimes they’re written poorly and take a bit of trial and error before you fully understand how they work.

Another criticism would be that card’s stats aren’t clearly identifiable when you’re in the middle of a game. To be able to see what affects the cards have, what their attack and defence values are, you have to click on them. This might not seem like much, but when you’ve got 4 cards on the table and six in your hand, it can become confusing as you try and figure out what each card does and how they’ll affect each other.

One aspect that Shadowverse has over Hearthstone is the single-player offering. There’s a large number of characters to play as (each offering their own unique decks) and there’s fully voiced dialogue between each battle. The story is your normal fantasy nonsense of magic and evil, but it’s useful for players that want to learn how to play offline, rather than getting their decks kicked in.

Shadowverse is blatant in what it’s trying to do – copy Hearthstone. In fairness, it does this well. Whilst not offering too many of its own unique ideas, aside from the evolution feature, it’s well made and just as fun as Blizzard’s own.


Fall Hard Review

Fall Hard Review

Aug 9, 2016

There will always be room for good arcade games. Games that offer and require no story, that don’t change with each playthrough. PacMan, Galaga, Super Crate Box – these games are always the same each time you pick them up and that’s just great.

Fall Hard is an example of this too. You play as a ball which desperately wants to fall to the floor. It’s like an inverse Doodle Jump, where you want to get to the bottom rather than reach the top. The game doesn’t score you on the distance you travel downards but instead gives you a point for each green square you hit. These green square bounce you upwards, but disappear as soon as they’re hit.unnamed-9

Easy, right? Well, it would be if it weren’t for the natural enemy of green squares, the dreaded red triangle. Red triangles will simply kill you on contact and end your run. Game Over. Here’s you score. Please try again.

So the game’s dead simple and the controls work well. Touch the left side of the screen to move left, right side of the screen to move right.

The visuals are striking, with a neon colour pallette and a cool looking CRT filter applied to everything. Audio is not much more than simple blips and bloops, though this plays into the hands of the ‘arcadey’ feel of the game.

The game’s real issue is with the ‘fairness’ of the game. With a title like Fall Hard, you’d expect there to be difficulty, however it seems to veer into the impossible on occasion thanks to the squares and triangle spawning randomly. Sometimes it will feel like you’re funneled into a trap, with a green square popping you up into a red triangle and offering you no choice but to get killed.

This might have been me being rubbish at the game. Perhaps my reactions were too slow, I can’t say for sure. What I can say is that I quickly stopped getting angry at myself and started blaming the game. It went too far and it became no fun. I put it down and only went back to it because I needed to write this review.

Most players will also find it difficult to come back if they’re not grabbed by the gameplay. This is because there’s little to unlock, except for some different looking circles. Aside from this there’s no change in the ‘enemies’ you encounter. You’ll always see red triangles and you’ll always score off of green squares.

Once you’ve played it the first time you’ll have seen everything. If the game feels fair to you, you might keep coming back to it. I, however, found Fall Hard to be more unfair than it was hard.

Tap my Katamari Review

Tap my Katamari Review

Aug 8, 2016

I’ve never hidden the fact that Katamari Damacy is one of my favourite games of all time. I’m also a pretty big fan of ‘clicker’ games. With this in mind you’d think that Tap my Katamari, which is a ‘clicker’ based on Katamari would be perfect.

Sadly it’s not.

The basics are as follows. On the screen you’ll see the Prince of the Cosmos. He’s rolling a ball, except it’s not a ball. It’s a sticky sphere called a Katamari. By rolling over items that Katamari picks up said items and eventually grows in size. This is the aim of the game, to grow your Katamari to gargantuan sizes. You’ll start by rolling up thumbtacks and before you know it you’ll be grabbing cars, buildings and eventually entire planets.unnamed-5

With each tap of the screen you prince moves forward, with a distance gauge showing you how close you are to picking something up. So you tap on the screen and pick things up, with each item dropping money. Money is spent on hiring your ‘cousins’ and they’ll earn money for you whilst the game’s closed. On top of this your cousins provide you with a boost so that each tap moves you forward further and quicker.

The problem here is that with most ‘clicker’ games you make progress when the game is closed. In Tap my Katamari you make progress to a degree, with money being earned whilst you’re away. This money can then be spent on upgrades, which is fine and makes future progress quicker. This means that if you return to the game after time away, you have a bunch of money and can now supercharge your Katamari. You’re now stuck having to tap away on the screen to pick up items. As no items were picked up during your absence no progress has actually been made.

On top of this lack of real progress whilst away there’s some real peaks and troughs to the distance required between items. You’d think that items would be harder to pick up (further away) as you progress through the game. However, some items are exponentially tougher to pick up, then you’ll have a very short distance and the sense of progression makes little sense.

Also, there’s 3 abilities you have to make tapping a little more interesting. You can use a ‘super-charge’, which gives you a one off boost of distance. Then you have an automatic clicker and finally you have a money boost which spits out coins for each tap.

These 3 abilities are fine but limited. Other clicker games have all manner of upgrades and abilities to unlock but Tap my Katamari has only 3, all of which will be unlocked on the first day of play.

It’s shame that this unbalanced and lacking clicker has such a great look and sound to it. The Katamari series has always had outstanding music and this one’s no different, but when the best thing about your ‘clicker’ game is its soundtrack, something’s gone wrong.


Blocky Soccer Review

Blocky Soccer Review

Jul 2, 2016

It’s easy to look at Blocky Soccer and immediately assuming it’s nothing more than a Crossy Road clone. Thankfully there’s enough differences to make this thing stand on its own two feet.

The game has you participate in mini ‘tournaments’ that are simply three games played back to back. If you’re thinking that you’re going to play full games of soccer, you’re mistaken.

Each soccer match consists of watching a ball move from one goal to the other. I assume there’s some random number generation going on, as it seems to move back and forth randomly. If the ball hits your goal, you simply get the spin of a roulette wheel which will either see the opposition score or miss. As soon as the ball hits their goal the scene changes as this means you’re about to attack their goal.

This is where Block Soccer is, at its most, Crossy Road. You are a footballer at the bottom of the screen and you need to swipe left and right to avoid defenders coming at you from the top of the screen. You also need to keep an eye out for defenders tackling you from behind, as they can also appear at the bottom of the screen. It’s pretty straightforward, even if it does get tricky when you’re bombarded with defenders. Once you’ve dodged enough tackles, which is a random number, you’ll then need to take your shot.BlockySoccer4

Once you’re in front of the goal everything stops and you’ll have an arrow waving from left to right placed in front of you. Shooting at the goal consists of two taps. Your first tap will stop the arrow swinging. Once you’ve done that the arrow fills up to show how hard you’re about to punt the ball. Tap the screen to stop it filling up and take the shot.

Easy. Right?

Sometimes, if you’re lucky, there’ll be a key in the goal. If the ball hits the key, it’s yours. You also gain keys if you win tournaments too. What do keys do? Well, they unlock new kits and eventually new stadiums to play in. The problem is that these kits aren’t that interesting. Some are quite cool – as they let you play as an animal or something weird, but most are just slightly different colored variations of the same model you’ve been looking at for hours already. Also, nothing else really changes. Unlike Crossy Road – which it’s hard not to compare this game to – it’s not as if you play with different types of ball or come up against different types of defender.

Which isn’t the worst thing in the world but it does mean that there’s very little to see once you’ve unlocked a kit or two.