Bitter Sam Review

Bitter Sam Review

Nov 29, 2013

Okay, I have no idea what to say about Bitter Sam, content-wise. It’s a game with very simple and understandable mechanics, but when you actually try to understand what the hell is going on in there, your thoughts start to hurt a bit. It’s about a strange furry creature that kinda looks like a man in a suit, and is not more than three inches tall. He is literally hanging by a thread, held by some crazy scientists, descending into some dangerous caverns with unclear intentions. I frankly can’t fathom what is going on in there, but Bitter Sam is living up to his name, being quite a miserable little bastard throughout. Seriously, the dude is so utterly soul-crushed that he actually smiles when he dies. He’s being on an emotionally-destructive level of the first several minutes of The Land Before Time, and the game is being quite schadenfreudian about this. Despite the main hero being sadder than a rock star’s 28th birthday, it’s really fun and casual.

As Bitter Sam descends into darkness that is his subconscious – and deep underground – the player needs to swerve him away Bitter Sam 3from obstacles by tilting the device. The kicker is that not only is Sam vulnerable to the hard surfaces and spikes, but the rope is, as well. It bends around the solid surfaces, and cuts on sharp things, so the player needs to be careful about where he moves the hero. The levels are not infinite, and only require surviving for some time, as well as collecting three stars that are hanging in various places. There are just a few pick-ups in the game, and they are all strategically placed. The most common one is a pig that can be picked up to smash through a single obstacle (smashing the pig in the process, but whatever). The levels are very strict, and the goal is not to make your own way through them, but guess the correct path, in order to pick up all stars and not get caught up in the obstacles. There are no lives and tries, so a single mistake means replaying the whole level from the beginning. Levels aren’t really long, but it does take some patience to replay a difficult section over and over, without starting to feel a bit like the main hero. Overall, Bitter Sam is a fine little arcade with unusual premise. A bit repetitive, and a bit irritating at times, but fun overall.

Friday Free Game Rundown August 31

Friday Free Game Rundown August 31

Aug 31, 2012

3D gaming is not quite to the level we thought it would be in the 21st century. I mean, look at all the old TV shows talking about all kinds of fantastic technology we would have in our homes. Sure, some of it is real, but not quite there on our mobile devices. That being said, here is a list of some fun games labeled as 3D. What 3D games currently consist of is not simply moving from side to side. There is an option to move in any direction.

Smash Fruit 3D

Ever have a bad day and think it could all go away by smashing something? Me too. Smash Fruit 3D is the cure for a bad day. Using a quick finger swipe will throw a rock ar various fruits. When hit, the fruit explode like they are hit with a sledge hammer.

Download Smash Fruit 3D

aTilt 3D Labyrinth

Back in the day there was a wooden version of this game. The wooden tilting maze was a pretty difficult child’s toy. Imagine the digital version. Multiple levels getting progressively more difficult. Remember it’s just a game, don’t get mad and throw the phone at the wall in anger.

Download aTilt 3D Labyrinth

Babel Rising 3D

Have a God complex? Well Babel Rising 3D is the battle of God getting back at the ungrateful humans. Use the power of nature to put the fear of God into them again. (Pun intended.) The cocky humans are building a tower to get closer to heaven. I’m not sure why they are making a tower, everyone knows the way to heaven is a stairway. Anyway, be a vengeful God and show them who’s the creator.

Download Babel Rising 3D

Helidroid 3D: Helicopter RC

Using either an on-screen joystick or the gyro in the phone or tablet to fly the little RC Helicopter from point A to point B. Like piloting a real chopper, controlling the lift is also important when flying around the courses. The courses become more difficult. Obstacles like walls and moving landing pads are added into the mix.

Download Helidroid 3D: Helicopter RC

Light Racer 3D

Just like the light bikes in Tron. Pretty bad-ass game actually. Race against another bike. When the bikes are driving around on the grid, they leave a light wall behind them. As the race progresses,the grid is more and more full leaving less room to maneuver. Good luck!

Download Light Racer 3D

3D Bio Ball HD Review

3D Bio Ball HD Review

Feb 17, 2011

If you’re thinking of giving 3D Bio Ball HD a try, be prepared for a challenge. You’ll be rolling, bouncing and teetering dangerously on the edge of 109 levels filled with puzzles, traps, enemies and other hazards to keep you from your goal.

Arb Studios packed a huge amount of content into 3D Bio Ball HD, making sure you’re getting plenty for your money. But there are also a number of problems here, which I’ll address in a moment, so don’t plunk down your hard-earned, just yet.

SpeedX 3D Review

SpeedX 3D Review

Sep 22, 2010

If you ever find yourself in a rocket ship, blasting through tunnels in some strange space dimension, you’ll have wished you played Speed X 3D on your long bus commutes.

Speed X 3D is a game that rockets you down a tunnel at 1000mph as colored blocks shoot toward you. By tilting your phone left or right, you control your rocket/motorcycle/jetpack to avoid the obstacles. By running over certain blocks, you can gain extra lives, and more.

The graphics of this game were pretty impressive. The tunnel that you are riding in at times will suddenly open up and become a flat plain and then later curve into a ball. Colored cubes rocket toward you, plasma balls blast around you, and more eye candy will entertain you – as you drip sweat off your nose. You’ll be sweating, because this game is hard. Impossibly hard. Have you ever been to a mall, and seen a kid with way too much time on his hands, playing “dance dance revolution?” This game reminded me of that, on the expert level. It’s so fast paced, that the “online leader board” won’t mean anything to you, because the scores you get will be so laughably minuscule, they won’t even post. Hindering your high scores are the occasion warnings like “blackout mode in 2 seconds!” that completely blacks the colors out, so you can’t see them coming. Good luck surviving that one.

Comedian Mitch Headberg once said, “As a comedian, you have to start the show strong and you have to end the show strong. Those are the two key elements. You can’t be like pancakes. You’re all happy at first, but then by the end, you’re sick of ’em.”

This game is a stack of pancakes. The graphics will wow you to begin with, but after a few minutes you’ll be frustrated, and have a headache. Plus, the music is so hideously annoying, you’ll shut that off by the end of the first round.

Speed X 3D is a great proof-of-concept, and the graphics are impressive, but the fun of it is short lived.